Leaving the Church: An Individual Story
Leaving the Church: An Individual Story
Many leave their faith home
Many people, for whatever set of reasons, leave their church. A substantial subset of those also leave their faith, that is, they become atheists or, at least, agnostics. Many who have abandoned their church no doubt wonder about the experiences of others who have quit. Such an individual may ask, Did they suffer the same feelings of oppression, doubt, and skepticism that I felt? And what of those who remain? Do they experience these feelings and suppress them? Or do they not experience them at all? How many who remain in the church are on the verge of leaving? How many are just paying lip service when they go through all the rituals and so forth? How many remain for fear of being stigmatized if they show signs of non-conformity to the group? What are the church leaders thinking and doing behind closed doors? Answers to these questions are difficult to come by.
Fortunately, a leading Christian evangelist has given insight into one church, or more properly movement, the evangelical movement in the United States. For those who don’t know, evangelical Christianity embraces, among other things, the ideas of biblical inerrancy, the centrality of being “born again,” and the importance spreading the Christian message. Evangelicals are found in nearly every Protestant denomination. Wheaton College’s Institute for the Study of American Evangelicals estimates that their number in the U.S. is approximately 90 to 100 million people. So what we’re talking about is a massive movement with massive influence embracing massive numbers.
A leading evangelical pastor
Francis Schaeffer was a leading evangelical theologian, philosopher, and Presbyterian pastor on the American religious and political scene, particularly in the 1970s and early 1980s. He hobnobbed with prominent Christian leaders of the time, discussing religious issues and plotting strategy for advancing evangelical causes. Frank Schaeffer, the son of Francis Schaeffer, grew up immersed in a religious environment, attending religious functions, listening to religious discussions, and meeting important religious figures of the day. He became his father’s protégé and strategist, and was considered an up-and-coming evangelical leader in his own right.
Then he changed his mind. He looked around and decided he didn’t like what he saw in the evangelical movement. Turning his back on his background and his life’s work, he quit. In several works, he has written about his experiences. He tells of his growing dissatisfaction with the behavior of the leading evangelists of the day, such as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. One book in particular is relevant here– Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or Almost All) of It Back. I have pulled quotes from this book that give a telling portrait of the evangelical Christian movement, particularly of the 1970s and early 1980s. (I must add that although the book highlights events from decades ago, I doubt that much has changed in the 2020s.)
In his own words
One would think that American religious leaders, especially conservative ones (as the leading evangelists tended to be), would be hoping (and praying) for America’s success. After all, they are Americans, and Americans, especially conservatives, are conventionally thought to stand by their country. Well, in the case of evangelical Christian leaders, perhaps not. Frank Schaeffer writes:
“The leaders of the new religious right were different from the old secular right… They were gleefully betting on
America’s failure. If secular, democratic, diverse, and pluralistic America survived, then wouldn’t that prove that we evangelicals were wrong about God only wanting to bless a “Christian America”? [p. 298-299]”
What about the horrible terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001? The World Trade Center was brought down. Thousands of American lives were lost. An attack was also made on the Pentagon, killing more. A failed terrorist attack resulted in a jet crash in Pennsylvania, killing all on board, including the terrorists. Surely the major evangelical leaders would try to console the nation in this time of grief. Again, no.
“And after 9/11, the public got a glimpse of anti-American self-righteous venom that was always just under the surface of the evangelical right. Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others declared that the attacks on America was punishment from God. [p. 299]”
What about the war with Iraq? Shouldn’t we honor our young people killed in combat? Perhaps not.
“And after the war in Iraq began, some loony group of fundamentalists started picketing the funerals of killed soldiers and screaming at bereaved fathers and mothers that God was punishing “faggot America.” What they shouted openly was what the leaders of the religious right were usually too smart to state bluntly, but it is what they had often said in private. [p. 299]”
The public, or at least the believing public, places great trust in the leaders of the evangelical movement now, as it did in the 1970s and 1980s. They are thought to be wise, honorable, decent, God-fearing, God-loving, Bible-abiding men. What is the opinion of the ultimate insider, Frank Schaeffer?
“The public image of the leaders of the religious right I met with so many times also contrasted with who they really were. In public, they maintained an image that was usually quite smooth. In private, they ranged from unreconstructed bigot reactionaries like Jerry Falwell, to Dr. [James] Dobson, the most power-hungry and ambitious person I have ever met, to Billy Graham, a very weird man indeed who lived an oddly sheltered life in a celebrity/ministry cocoon, to Pat Robertson, who would have a hard time finding work in any job where hearing voices is not a requirement. [p. 315]”
But perhaps these very public figures were exceptional in their quirkiness or badness. What did Frank Schaeffer think of the leaders more generally?
“There were three kinds of evangelical leaders. The dumb or idealistic ones who really believed. The out-and-out charlatans. And the smart one who still believed—sort of—but knew that the evangelical world was shit, but who couldn’t figure out any way to earn as good a living anywhere else. I was turning into one of those, having started out in the idealistic category. [p. 329]”
As his father aged and sickened, this icon of the evangelical movement became jaded. Frank reflects upon his father’s thoughts.
“Dad seemed lost in a depressed daze. He had recently been saying privately that the evangelical world was more or less being led by lunatics, psychopaths, and extremists, and agreeing with me that if ‘our side’ ever won, America would be in deep trouble. But by then Dad was dying and knew he had very little time left. There was no time to change his life or his new “friends.” [p. 335]”
Frank Schaeffer describes in his book his personal odyssey of disillusionment as the scales dropped from his eyes, as well as that of his father. Therein may lie lessons for others. He also describes the multiple moral failings of evangelical Christianity’s leaders. Surely those accounts should sound alarm bells for people of good conscience and clear thinking.
So there you have it. According to the ultimate insider of the movement and his father, a leader of the movement, evangelical Christianity, encompassing tens of millions of Americans and representing one of the most powerful voting blocs in the nation, during the 1970s and into the 1980s was being run to a large extent by psychologically damaged misfits or charlatans, with an agenda that would ultimately be destructive to America. And millions upon millions of Americans continue to believe.
Ex-SDA connection?
How does all this relate to ex-SDA’s and our survey? In many cases respondent comments have echoed Frank Schaeffer’s sentiments. This post is part of our larger effort to put the survey data into a larger context and to make it even more meaningful to both of those who took the survey and are anxious to hear the full results and to the larger population interested in learning more about why some leave the church.
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Fascinating! I attending France’s Schaffer’s seminars in San Francisco in the 70s. I recently watched the movie “Jesus Revolution” and wondered whatever happened to Francis and Frank and their ministry.