CELL Blog | Center for Engaged Learning in the Law

“So do you feel like your class is full of whiners?” a professor asked me recently.

“Oh my God, yes!” I responded.

“Why do you think that is?” my professor queried.

My response? Because you let them.

In all fairness to my classmates, the current and habitual state of flux in which our fledgling school operates (and I use that term loosely) could make even Mother Teresa go postal. When they told us in our very first week that “it depends” was the quintessential law school answer, we assumed they referred to answers of substantive law as opposed to answers to questions like, “What day does class start?” But a year and a half later, the hallways still ring with shouts of that most noble epithet, “Give me ambiguity or give me … something else!!” In a culture such as this, legitimate complaints understandably abound; yet we – over-achievers to the core – have found a way to exceed even this lofty threshold with our endless moans and groans.

My favorites include: (1) the school-wide state of mutiny whenever more than one assignment is due in the same week; (2) the audacity of demanding Litigation majors wear courtroom attire 4-hours per week during Trial Ad (which takes place, oddly enough, in a courtroom); and (3) the affront to those having to adjust their dinner schedules to accommodate one evening class per week.

While I don’t speak enough psycho jargon to get to the true Freudian core of whining as a social skill, I can tell you that, just as with small children, letting big children get away with a bad behavior only makes the behavior worse. When complaints like those above are raised, the usual responses include (but are not limited to): cajoling, ignoring, nodding, and encouraging.

Why!? Why on God’s green Earth would one entertain as legitimate the complaint of a future lawyer affronted by the concept of wearing a suit to court?? Why would one cajole the tears of a future patent attorney who runs the risk of malnutrition for want of knowing how to feed herself in between class times?? And why oh why oh why would professors, themselves licensed attorneys, adjust the due dates of assignments to accommodate those operating under the delusion that practicing attorneys never, ever have more than one assignment due in the same week??

It seems like these responses from professors to students follow the same logic as between parent and child: here, take this lollipop and go away so Mommy can get her law review article written. But we’ve all met kids raised like that (I hear they turn into whiny law students, but that could be mere rumor) and at this stage of the game, it’s just silly and counterproductive to continue the pattern. It sets everyone up to fail: the students will flop in the real world when the staggering realization of deadlines, fiduciary duties, inflexible senior partners, and even less flexible judges sets in; the school will fail when the legal community realizes it’s churning out whiny toddlers instead of polished, professional lawyers; and students with legitimate complaints will be met with a proverbial lollipop instead of a genuinely concerned ear.

So the next time a litigation student whines about having to wear a suit one night of his life for the next 10 weeks, do everyone a favor: look him dead in the eyes and shout, “ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!? GROW UP!!” (or…you know…something to that effect)