Aid Worker Voices

Aid workers as parents

“Ultimately it’s a culture change, not just a policy change.”

–Lucy, founder of AidMamas.org

 

Aid workers as parents

How does that work?
A small but significant subset within our survey population -21%- were aid workers who have one or more children. Being an aid worker can be a complex, demanding and all-comsuming occupation.  The fact that many aid workers are also parents -a complex, demanding and all-comsuming job- brings up many questions.  Here are just a few.

• In a sector characterized by international travel and frequent deployments how can an aid worker be
  a parent?
• How does the parenting role differ between males and females, and what are the problems unique to each and those that are common to both?
• More generally, how do aid workers deal with their part in the family ecosystem of which they are enmeshed either by choice or necessity?
• What are the leave policies of the big box aid organizations and smaller NGO’s and how can the maternity/paternity leave policies of these organizations become more progressive?

All big questions, these.

To get deeper insight into how to address these questions (and more) I was fortunate to talk with the founder of a new but rapidly growing group called “AidMamas.”  Some members meet in person, in Google hangouts, on Facebook and most recently members have begun blogging. Topics of conversation tend to focus on the struggles of juggling the role of parent with that of aid worker.  Though most members are women, men are welcomed to the group and help serve to expand the conversation to family life in general.

The founder, Lucy, is a young mother, now more on the edges development work. She has embraced the challenge of bringing together -at least virtually- other men and women like herself and facilitating ‘frank and full conversation about being a parent and working in the international aid and development sector.’

What follows are anecdotes and observations from our conversations.

Maternity/paternity leave policies
This is not the proper place to call out any specific ‘big box’ aid or development organization, but I think that a safe generalization to make is maternity and paternity leave policies are overall very weak throughout the sector.  One young female aid worker put a harsh point on the situation.

“You have a choice: come back to work after 3-6 weeks of unpaid leave practically still bleeding post childbirth, find someone to watch your poor infant who is still physically attached to you, or lose your job.”

The irony of this statement is even more rich when you know that this particular development worker is the primary bread winner in her family -in development terms a female headed household– going back in the field.

Lucy points out that, “If you examine the parental leave policies of many organisations, paternity leave (if it exists at all) still lags woefully far behind maternity leave (if it exists at all).  Maternity leave that is long enough to both enable women to maintain job security and adequately provide that early nutrition source that the sector so strongly supports for beneficiaries without demanding acrobatic feats of logistical planning and awkward office encounters, is rare. Support transitioning back to work is patchy at best across the sector.”

In a more perfect world where the best interests of both children and the family were made top priority, the option of both maternity and/or paternity leave would be standard and provisions for at least 6 months of breast feeding not only provided but aggressively encouraged. What is keeping the sector -and the West in general and the US more specifically- from this model is the steamroller which is capitalism.  The pervasive logic is ‘no work, no pay’, simple as that.

But perhaps this logic is flawed.

When women make the choice not to come back to work immediately -or in many cases not at all- because of childcare issues, their practical experience and institutional memory is lost; the human capital and expertise that is wasted by losing these women is considerable.  Think of it this way:  much like setting fire to a warehouse full of blankets or food losing these women is a waste of valuable human resources.  The questions about the overall values in the sector and who determines those values is in play here in a very important way.  The management of human resources within the sector is critical; this is not ‘just a women’s issue’ but rather impacts the efficacy of the entire sector.

Can you be a parent and an aid worker?  Yes, but this role juggling feat could be made whole lot easier with more progressive sector-wide policies.

Is cred gendered?
In terms of self concept, many aid workers endure what might be called the ” imposter syndrome.”  Are those who work in aid more ‘legit’ than those doing development work?  Does working in a conflict zone give you a more respected seat at the table?  To the point of this post, can an aid worker who is also an active parent -a breast feeding mom, for example- ever compare with a single male (or female) who can jump to the front of the line for any deployment?  Given that, yes, women bear children and in the best case scenario can have the support and freedom to choose to breast feed their children for an extended period the answer is yes, cred is gendered.

Yeah, so what?

Diminishing the contribution of the majority of aid workers who choose to be breeders and family members is not only counterproductive but also a textbook example of sexism. The question is how to address the situation.  In Lucy’s words, “Ultimately it’s a culture change, not just a policy change.”

This is not a woman’s issue but an issue of family relationships.  Most aid workers have mothers, fathers and siblings and all to a certain degree are part of a family ‘ecosystem’ that, when they are away, is compromised and must adapt. Yes, maternity leaves should be standard, but more broadly the fact that all aid workers have family lives must also be taken into account not just within HR policies but more broadly as a cultural issue.

A cultural universal
That this most basic form of role conflict has existed for parents for all of modern history all over the world is a basic anthropological fact.  Beyond parenting duties, women have always worked though frequently in a seamless fashion in and around the home, close to the children.  Fetching water and fire wood, tending gardens, running small entrepreneurial enterprises; these examples are played out everywhere in the world.  The iteration of role conflict that groups like AidMamas is addressing is where the mother works ‘outside the home’ in a formally paid position.

Can the global culture change to being less paternalistic and more family-friendly?  Not in the short run, to be sure.  The efforts of the many internet-based groups bringing together like minded and situated individuals is a move in the right direction.  Not to put too fine a neo-Marxist point on it but the fostering a class consciousness must proceed revolutionary changes in culture, and so the efforts of groups like AidMamas is a small through critical step in the right direction.

One small warning for these groups is to avoid the creation of a self-serving echo chamber of ideas and dialogue.  Affirmation and sharing are good but is best tempered by sobriety that comes from always seeking to relate all micro-issues to the broader humanistic goal of maximizing all human potential.

Summing up the above Lucy puts it thusly:

“Take a closer look under the ‘hood’ of the sector and examine in your own organisation, how well do we support those female-headed households – both among those we’re working to assist, and among the staff? If we don’t know how to support the female-headed households among our staff, how well are we really supporting the female-headed households in local communities?  We need to get it right from the inside out.”

Many thanks again to Lucy of AidMamas for sharing her insights.

The fact that our survey was not completed by the many women and men who left the sector because of the issues discussed above  is ironic, and I wonder what those voices would have said.  If you are one of those folks, please contact me if you would be willing to share your comments or have anything you would like to add.

 

 

 

 

 

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