Aid Worker Voices

Confronting Toxic Otherings begins with therapy

Confronting Toxic Othering begins with therapy

 

In Russell Means’s autobiography Where White Men Fear to Tread, he offers profound insights on the process of decolonization and healing. On page 531, he reflects:

“I had often wondered how best to decolonize my people. Treatment made me realize that there is no need for all of them to get into the whys and wherefores of colonization that have led them down the path of self-destruction. It must be done one human being at a time. Without that kind of help, Western society does not allow people to come to terms with their feelings. With honesty and with therapy, my people can be made whole again.”

This perspective is remarkably insightful, particularly when applied to various global injustices and issues within the United States. It leads me to consider the potential positive impact of mandatory or strongly encouraged therapy, both individual and group sessions, with a focus on emotional healing. What we need, in essence, is a collective effort to reconnect with our feelings—a group therapy session on a national or even global scale.

Earlier in the chapter, Means observes:

“At Cottonwood, I came to understand that life is not about race or culture or pigmentation or bone structure. It’s about feelings. That’s what makes us human beings. We all feel joy and happiness and laughter. We all feel sadness and ugliness and shame and hurt. Life is not an ‘ouch’ contest. Nobody cares who has the best reason to suffer. If you’re rich and hurting, you feel no different than someone who is poor and hurting. Then I realized that if the human family has all the same feelings, all any of us should worry about is how to deal with them. Forget about saving the environment, never mind race relations. Don’t worry about justice. Deal with feelings and relationships. The cultures of every indigenous society in the world are based upon improving relationships—the individual’s connection with a dolphin, a wolf, an eagle, a tree, a rock, a spider, a snake, or a lizard, with other human beings, with the clouds, and with the wind.”

Means argues that true healing and decolonization require a shift from focusing on external issues—race, culture, justice—to internal ones: our feelings and relationships. He suggests that improving our connections with ourselves, others, and the world around us is key to overcoming the legacy of colonization and the resulting self-destruction.

As I reflect on Means’s words, I find myself in full agreement. Part of confronting toxic othering is looking inward—examining our relationships with ourselves and others, understanding the feelings that shape those relationships, and striving to cultivate positive, respectful connections. This inside-out therapy based approach to addressing toxic othering is both revolutionary and, perhaps, daunting to imagine both for oneself and en masse for marginalized populations.

Means’s advocacy for an American Indian embracing of therapy and emotional awareness is powerful. Looked at more broadly, it’s a call for a profound shift in how we relate to ourselves and the world. Once we have a deeper understanding of our feelings and relationships, we can develop the respect and empathy needed to overcome toxic othering. Toxic othering is driven by fear, mistrust, and even anger, all negative emotions.The core of this toxicity is the tendency to see someone different—whether by race, class, gender, or sexuality—as threatening. Normal othering is motivated by inclusion, acceptance, and love. A healthy ands and self-aware person with gravitated toward normal, not toxic othering: this is Means’ point.  respond with negative feelings, often leading to harmful actions.

To sum up, confronting toxic othering requires a deep, introspective journey. It demands that we take responsibility for knowing ourselves, getting in touch with our feelings, and understanding that being whole means being aware of our emotions and nurturing healthy relationships—with ourselves, others, and the world around us.

 

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