Growing up as a third culture kid from a young age molded a perspective of the world for me that differed from those who grew up in their home country their entire life. Most prevalent in my middle school years, I found I was jealous of other kids who got the opportunity grow up in the USA –specifically because of the life-long friends that they could make along with the constant familiarity of their environment. The most culturally divergent country I lived in was China, and since I was attending an American International School, my friends came and went all the time. And soon, it was my turn. Being a third culture kid definitely had an influence on my life, especially in the sense of switching between cultures and social norms.
After retiring from the US Air Force, my dad began working for the government as a US diplomat. Soon, my mother also became a US diplomat. Because of this I got the opportunity to travel and live overseas as a TCK. I tried very hard to fit into these new cultures and social norms. When living in China I’d go to camps over the summer, stay with family in the US for school breaks, and experience other situations that involved “switching” between culture. There is a specific term for this, called “code-switching” which was introduced in a blog post called “The Curious Conundrum of Code-Switching”, by Lauren Lyons. “Many of us subtly, reflexively change the way we express ourselves all the time. We’re hop-scotching between different cultural and linguistic spaces and different parts of our own identities –sometimes within a single interaction” (Lyons, Lauren). Although I didn’t become aware of the term until beginning college, I was a master at code-switching. I have lived in North Carolina (cannot remember this), Hawaii, Mexico City, Finland, Virginia, China, Canada, then North Carolina, in that specific order. Learning the social norms within each culture became easy for me, and I’d quickly adjust to the new environments I’d be living in. This, in my opinion, is the most important and beneficial outcome of being a TCK.
In an article written by Ann Baker Cottrell, she discussed the findings of a survey conducted with the participation of 696 TCKs. Overall, it concluded that TCKs maintained “global dimensions” throughout their lives, or in other words, TCKs remained aware and comfortable with the cultural diversity in the world. Although I found the expat life difficult when I was younger (elementary/middle school years), when I entered high school and began focusing on which university I’d like to attend, and what career I’d like to pursue, I realized that I should be thankful for being a TCK. My international background gives me an advantage when it comes to understanding and interacting with cultures different from my own. Furthermore, I have come to the realization that I cannot live in one country for my entire life. Long before beginning university, I have known that I want to pursue a career in which I can travel overseas. As stated in the survey results, many TCKs “sought mainly to ‘get abroad again’ and so majored in teaching, international relations, international business” (Cottrell, Ann Baker). I can support this statement firsthand, as I know for a fact that I want to major in international business.
Upon reentry into their home country/culture, Cottrell explained that many adult TCKs have “issues of adjustment” along with experiencing “feelings of rootlessness and alienation” (Cottrell, Ann Baker). This statement is supported by at least two-thirds of the TCKs who participated in the survey. These feelings of alienation are very common for all TCKs, and I personally believe that they are one of the defining factors of what makes a TCK, a TCK. I can say from my own experience, that these adjustment issues are very real. I have lived in China from fourth grade to tenth grade, and have grown greatly accustomed to the culture. The most difficult thing I had dealt with as TCK is adjusting to life in Canada –returning to the western lifestyle. In fact, living amongst other westerners was so different for me, that I felt uncomfortable and slightly intimidated walking down the street past all the people of the same race as me.
Ann Baker Cottrell concluded that “most [TCKs] do not identify with members of their ethnic group, and nearly half do not feel central to any group. For some, especially the recently returned, such feelings are painful and create a profound sense of isolation; such TCKs emphasize feeling at home nowhere, and for some, this feeling lasts a lifetime.” I did not consider Canada to be my home, and was in conflict with whether or not I should consider China my home. Even though I wasn’t from China, since I lived there for so long it almost did feel like home. My parents would always tell me North Carolina was my home, since I was born there and had a house there. But I didn’t live in North Carolina since before kindergarten, and even though I’d go to North Carolina for a couple weeks every summer to visit family, it did not feel like home to me.
These feelings of confusion are recurrent in the lives of TCKs. So as you may have noticed, there is no clear “good” or “bad” to being a TCK. The feelings of isolation or rootlessness are only resulting from the wide perspective gained regarding the vast cultures in this world. These experiences strengthen TCKs methods of adapting to new situations.